The Pit of the Lizard People
Hey, are you listening to me? I remember when I was your age, ya young whippersnapper, I could have shown you a thing or two. Why back in my day we flew from town to town on the backs of dragons. Young damsels threw themselves at our feet on the off chance we might notice them. Hey youngster, I'm getting a little dry, how about you buy me a drink and I ply you with the tale of:
Elgar Orcslayer and the Pit of the Lizard People!
Ahh, got your attention I see. This is a story from the Lay of the Lizard, one of the great adventures involving Price Elgar. Well let me just wet my whistle with some of that swill you call ale and we will begin.
Now this story takes place five years after Elgar had gone back to Snarl Swamp to study at the feet of his father, the Archmage Dorial. He had brought some of his friends with him, a former guardsman by the name of Brandt Ravenscraft and a talented wench named Patch. What was she talented in? Well just listen up and I'll be a telling you! During the time that Elgar and his companions stayed in the swamps they became competent mages, able to cast a glamour or two you can be sure. Brandt picked up a smattering of the Elvish language while they stayed there, but Patch was seen to be sneaking about and vanishing from time to time. Was that her talent? Just you hush and listen to the story.
Well one fine day in the swamp Elgar and his friends were talking with a caravan driver. This driver told them of the many adventures he had seen in the deeper, darker portions of the swamp. He spoke of such things as the Great cities of Lizard People and the collectors who would pay handsomely for their artifacts. He also spoke of the bands of human tribesman who practised ritual sacrifice to appease their dark gods, and of the pools of watery wonders where miracles happened. Now these stories got Elgar and his friends a-wondering, what was out there that hadn't been seen for many an age. Thus, despite his Father's warnings and his Mother's tears the three ventured out into the swamp looking for adventure.
The elves of Snarl Swamp had been living there for many a year, they had migrated to that swamp before the beginnings of the Evil Empires purges and had created quite a kingdom there. But their kingdom was only the smallest portion of the swamp and the elves had no will to expand and explore. Elgar's party was the first in a long while to journey towards the swamp's unknown regions, those marked on the maps only with the rune for death.
Brandt, Elgar and Patch marched along what little paths there were, cursing the chiggers and leaches. The trip had been uneventful until a clearing jumped out at them. Yes I know what a clearing is, open space with no trees. Yeah I know they don't jump, it was a figure of speech. Hey who is telling this story anyway? Now as I was saying, they entered a clearing full of rubble and the ruins of what appeared to be a small city. As they explored the ruins they came across a large pit in the ground. From a little ways off Patch called out that she had found a staircase. Now down that staircase they went and wouldn't you know it but they come across a ruined temple, broken pillars, clouds of rabid bats and all the trappings. As they stepped off of the stairs Brandt and Elgar werenıt paying attention and managed to slip in the bat dung, unlucky them and even more unlucky Patch, she had to smell the for the rest of the day.
When they had cleaned themselves up our entrepid adventures continued on their way turning a couple of corners until Brandt cried out and jumped back, too late. Two spears shot out of the wall and hit him directly in the chest! Ahh, Elgar and Patch feared the worse when they kneeled down beside the stricken body of their friend. Great was their joy when they found him only bruised and still willing to venture on. Watching the walls and floor carefully the band journeyed on, again traversing many corridors and strange eldrich turnings until a door blocked their progress. Listening at the door proved fruitless so they opened it and marched right in. Surprise! Six of the Lizard People looked up in startlement at the brawny band. Now the Lizard People are a sight to see, they are greenish brown, about 6 feet high, have long scaled tails and forked tongues. At this point things might have turned out better had anyone but known the Lizard tongue, alas that no one did. The Lizard People made some despicable noises, cocked their heads then charged. Elgar was not caught unawares and hefted his mighty bow felling one of the hellions rushing towards them with a single shot. He managed to get off more amazing shots felling two more of the vile group before they closed with them. A fierce melee ensued during which Elgar felled one more and Bandt and Patch each had the glory of each killing one also. In the aftermath the heroes picked up their spent arrows and did a cursory inspection of the room. Happy were they that they had for a small fortune was found, eight silver and four copper pieces. Leaving the room they found a staircase leading down into the darkness, being filled with courage after their deadly brawl they boldly followed it. No it didnıt walk away. Ghah! What kind of question is that? Just let me get on with my story.
The staircase wound deeper into the dark earth emerging into a large cavelike room. Walking forward into the room took the party past a pile of rubble making strange noises. Now Patch, being wily about such things, noticed that a huge family of rats was living in it and the party slowly edged past it. Before them was a dark entryway into another temple. Ha! Two tridents streaked out of the darkness ahead, their metal tongs glistening with hunger, and straight towards Brandt they flew! They almost hit him but he waved his hand and spoke a guttural word causing them to fly off in another direction. Miraculously Brandt was unscathed after the attack but he slowly collapsed to the floor. His friends had no time to help him though; they had been set upon by more of the Lizard People. More tridents fly out at Elgar but he waved his hands and muttered something, redirecting most of them. One did hit him though and Elgar staggered in horrendous pain. A wild fire seemed to burn in Elgarıs eyes then and he yelled a painful word. Blue streaks of light jumped from him hands into the throng impacting two of the Lizard People and killing them where they stood. Embolden by the rapid change in their fortunes, Patch jumped over the prone body of Brandt and dealt a grievous wound to one the remaining Lizard Persons. A couple more of her deft sword strokes and the danger was over. No I am not going to tell you about each and every little nick and bruise, cut and parry. Suffice it to say that Elgar and Patch administered to Brandtıs wounds and in a short time they were feeling better.
The courage of our heroes is a thing of legend. Many a bold soldier of the border wars would have turned back at this point and been satisfied with his accomplishments. Not our party, they decided to continue on into the temple. Brandt marched boldly forwards through the doorway and promptly plunged into a pit. Not just any pit, this pit had long wooded spikes in the bottom that seemed to be yearning for his blood. The luck god smiled on Brandt though and he managed to grab ahold of the side as he fell in. Elgar and Patch pulled him out as as they rested Patch almost fell into another pit. At this point they decided that maybe they should watch out for these things and they made it to the other side of the room unscathed.
After traversing the floor of not-so-cleverly-hidden-pits the party found a statue of a forgotten god. Not too long forgotten though as Brandt realized that it was Yathor, the god of the beer butt bong. As they marveled at this revelation Patch found a path to the statue of another god, Yathorıs brother, Smidigity. Everyone gathered around this statue and reached out to touch the holy relic. There was a bright flash of light and the room was empty. Mind you this caused some consternation to the party of Lizard People ninjas that were stalking them. What do you mean Lizard People donıt have ninjas, of course they do. They also have air ships and boxes that talk and Hey, stop that, I'm still a talking. Hey! Donıt toss me out th..