What Is the Wizard Doing?

Wizards have pretty mundane lives too. Here's the list to prove it.

d100 Roll Activity
1          lecturing the apprentices
2          chastising the apprentices
3          torturing the apprentices
4          feeding the apprentices to the monster
5          mixing ungents
6          meditating
7          sleeping
8          reading
9          scrying
10          feeding the monster
11          creating a new monster
12          practicing a new spell
13          writing his diaries
14          talking to the dead
15          creating more dead to talk to
16          flying around the castle
17          away at the wizards convention
18          leafing through spell component catalogues
19          blasting peasants
20          playing the organ
21          seducing a maiden or boy
22          giving orders to the guard
23          yelling about something trivial
24          summoning a storm
25          summoning a demon
26          working on floorplans
27          using the facilities
28          chastising the diplomat from the neighboring kingdom
29          feeding the diplomat from the neighboring kingdom to the monster
30          opening a dimensional gateway
31          fighting monsters that crawled through a dimensional gateway
32          astrally projecting his Ka
33          mixing a love potion
34          recovering from an explosion caused by mixing potions
35          reading a history book that he wrote years ago
36          updating his library
37          building new bookshelves out of bones
38          siting on his thrown contemplating
39          weeping
40          laughing uproariously
41          cleaning out his closet
42          making the bed
43          putting on makeup
44          peeling off his face and putting on a new one
45          drinking a potion of long years
46          peeling off the wallpaper in the dungeon searching for maps
47          consoling the warlord's wife
48          practicing the spell of tormented skin on traveling salesmen
49          checking the closets for moose
50          oiling the drawbridge gears
51          sewing wings on monkeys
52          walking the battlements
53          testing the moat water for proper pH
54          discussing the difficulties of peasant maintenance
55          gargling
56          arranging wizard robes by day
57          sweeping the sidewalk
58          balancing the accounts
59          slaughtering a chicken
60          turning princes into frogs
61          popping a pimple
62          laundry
63          shaving
64          writing a play
65          animating skeletons
66          playing the flute
67          listening to music
68          surfing the magic mirror
69          causing the dungeon to be expanded
70          talking with spiders
71          stubbing a toe on the cauldron
72          cursing
73          having a nightmare
74          sending a nightmare to an enemy
75          sewing a new pointy hat
76          bleeding from a gaping wound
77          throwing out last week's spell ungents
78          eating lunch
79          cooking a blackbird pie
80          harvesting beanstalk seeds
81          treading the light fantastic
82          lost in his own library
83          burying the remains of his last experiment
84          peering over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore
85          writing poetry
86          smoking "pipe weed"
87          carving a staff out of ironwood
88          attending the monthly wizard's meeting
89          transcribing the steps for a new dance
90          plucking his eyebrows
91          making purple fright wigs
92          washing dishes
93          painting
94          locking up words
95          putting out the cat
96          summoning a great wind to wreck unholy vengeance
97          glancing longingly out the window
98          pacing the floor
99          snapping quills
100          humming softly to himself

Copyright 2013, John Sasso. All rights reserved.